Daybook for 3-27-13

Outside my window...

• Still dark, at 7:20am. The moon woke me up at about 5am because it was so bright. My mind was convinced that it was closer to 7 and I couldn't go back to sleep. It was a beautiful moon and I really enjoy greeting the morning with my husband, some coffee, and quiet time with Our Lord (that lasted for like two minutes because the girls woke up soon after).

I am thankful for...

• Passiontide and Holy Week. This has been a fruitful Lent and I pray that this last week of penance will help my soul grow into holiness and help prepare my soul for the joy that is coming on Sunday. The Triduum is my very favorite set of feasts during the year. 

• Books. They get me through mundane days of chores. I reward myself for doing a chore with a chapter or ten or twenty.

• This is redundant, but my husband. He truly is such a blessing. 

• My sweet, innocent little girls. 

• Recipes from the older ladies in Slaton. I have a nice little booklet of them and I flipped through yesterday and planned dishes for Easter from them. I love anything passed on from generation to generation and I feel like they shared a part of their family history with this young wife who has no claim to cooking fame.
• Finding a gorgeous, affordable dress at Kohl's last night. And by that, I mean I met a friend up there while running errands in town to give her a ride back into Slaton and she had found it and then I copied her and bought it, too. We won't wear it at the same time (we have four dresses that are exactly the same [at least four, maybe more!], and have never matched....completely.)! We just both have a great sense of style!

I am thinking about...

• On Passion Sunday (in the Tradtional Rite, please excuse my ignorance on the Novus Ordo on this), the Sunday before Palm Sunday, all holy images are veiled. I once heard in a sermon the following explanation of Church tradition:
  Beginning on Passion Sunday, images are veiled so the emotional side of seeking God is removed. We can no longer look at beautiful paintings or statues or crucifixes to lift our souls into prayer. We have to seek Him intellectually. On Holy Thursday, the Blessed Sacrament and Holy Water are removed from the church; we literally have to seek His Presence elsewhere. On Good Friday, The Most Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, is taken away and we are left with Good Friday liturgy (Mass of the Presanctified). On Holy Saturday, at Easter Vigil, even light is taken away. Our senses are forced into confusion and a little bit of fear (don't lie and act like it doesn't make you panic for a moment when the church goes completely black!....the priest did not say this, this is Melanie's commentary. He is much holier than I.). We are left with nothing, except hope, just like the disciples were 2000 years ago. 
  Isn't that beautiful? In our little family, we also fast from technology and light. Does that sound weird? We do our best to avoid internet use, kindles (uuuughhh), phones, radios, TV, and even electricity when we come home from Holy Thursday Mass and do our best to maintain it throughout the Triduum (obviously some has to be used!). Last year was the first time we did it and it was beautiful to enter into the holiest of days in such a way. This year, Joseph is traveling on Good Friday and Holy Saturday, so phones won't be counted into this.

***edited to remark that the technology fast did not happen this year. Next year! Next year!****

• Joseph's big, big job interview on Holy Saturday. At first, I was indignant that he has one on such a holy day, but then I wanted to slap myself because what better day to have an important, much-prayed-for event to happen on? 

• Also thinking about how I forgot, for the fourth week in a row, to get printer paper at Wal-Mart. This will affect my answer to the next question. 

In the Schoolroom...

Very, very organic learning. We have no paper on which to print out worksheets. 

From the kitchen...

Remember that attempt to go paleo? I didn't either.

I am creating...

• Pretty outfits for three banquet-type events we have next week. April 3,6,9. Come on, people. I need to repeat outfits and I can't do that if they are only a few days apart each. And with the same people. Rest assured, I will be repeating for the hooding ceremony.

• Invitations for my younger sister's (hi, Meg) bridal shower. And by I am, I mean Joseph is. But I will do wording and mailing. Consider myself praised. 

• Announcements for Joseph's graduation. I joke that we don't know anyone. Until we put together a list of people we need to send announcements to and then I want to throw up at all the people we know.

I am working on...

• Pretty outfits. Several fancy (but not too dressy!) ones that I need in the coming weeks. Accessories that will go with all of them so I don't have to buy too much. (I like clothes, what can I say?)

• Wisdom, gentleness, charity, humility.  Always. That seems a lot more intimidating now that I type it out.
• Diversifying my cooking. 

Clicking Around...

• http://www.audiosancto.org/sermon/20030116-Family-Virtues.html
  Great sermon. Listen to it, most especially if you have children.

I am reading...

• The Mother of the Little Flower about Blessed Zelie Martin. I love this little book and I think every mother should read it.

• Just finished some books by Lynn Austin not even worth mentioning, so I'm currently in between novels. 

I am praying for...

• Still, our new papa.

• A job, particularly a job with the firm Joseph is interviewing with this week (no particular reason other than he's interviewing with it)

• Some special, quiet intentions. Any sacrifices or prayers offered up for them, as well, would be much appreciated. 

I am hearing...

Story Keeper's in the background. My mantra this week is, if the kids have to watch TV, make it Biblical at least. 

Around the house...

• Cleaning and preparing for our Easter guests. Obviously not too much since I'm doing this. I finally caught up with ironing and laundry from our bought with stomach bugs! Back patted.

• That herb garden I mentioned? The cilantro was too far gone for me to save, apparently. We're down to mint, chives, and swiss chard. And aloe vera! Did I mention that? We've even used it already! Molly fell off our porch and scraped her face pretty badly. After a few applications of aloe straight from the plant, it's GONE. 

One of my favorite things...

• A cup of coffee in a quiet house early in the morning. 

• Preparing for my little girl's FIFTH birthday. I've been searching for a good gift for her. Any suggestions, moms out there? I love birthdays (or holidays, or half-holidays, or special feast days!) and that love has been passed down to her (a frequent question in our house is, "Mommy, what feast day is it?"). She's such a joy and a help and I want to celebrate her beautiful life so that she remembers it.

• Ellie's "Darling" shirt. I'll write a post about that soon.

A few plans for the rest of the week...

• Triduum and all that goes with it. 

• Easter! A brother-in-law and his wife (that feels cold and unfeeling...how could I better explain this?) getting their marriage blessed and recognized by The Church. The same wife (I can call her a sister-in-law now!) coming into The Church. 

• A job interview!

A picture thought...

This was the first year we've veiled the holy images in our home. The girls got really excited and Molly even made crucifixes out of construction paper so we could veil more images. Unfortunately, I'd run out of purple fabric. I'm glad for the excuse because I think she would have made about 1000 more holy images. 

The veiling was truly, a blessing for our family. We've placed these images around our home as an external reminder of what our interior should be focused on. I've been particular about where I place certain holy cards or little statues, knowing that they are "hot spots" for frustration or anger (washing dishes, our school area, our living room). Being able to quickly glance at an image of Our Lady holding the Baby Jesus was more calming than I realized. Veiling these images truly did take away an emotional seeking of God and left me seeking Him more in prayer than a quick glance at an image. 

Passiontide, you've been good for me.

*Yes, I know they are cut haphazardly and aren't ironed. It's all in the name of humility or laziness. You pick.*

Daybook for 3-13-13

Outside my window...

Windy! West Texas winds never fail. It's also beautiful, sunny, and the perfect combo of warm and cool when the dust isn't pelting your face.

I am thankful for...

The traditions of Holy Mother Church. Watching the coverage of the announcement of Pope Francis today, sitting next to my husband and two girls, was beautiful. It reminds me why I cling so strongly to the Traditional Mass. The pomp and circumstance we saw today (and in the Latin Mass) is what Catholics, ages before us, have witnessed.  

For spring break. I'm only one kid down during this week, but one kid does make a difference. Joseph is home a wee bit more this week, too!

Second job interviews. On Holy Saturday, one of the holiest days of the year. Penance and sacrifice for this intention? I'll take two. Ora pro nobis, all of Heaven.

I am thinking about...

Pope Francis. Trying to remember this momentous day. And praying for his reign.

Also, equally important, my Easter outfit.

(I kid. It's more important.)

(I kid again.)

In the Schoolroom...

Reading, reading, reading. That smart girl of ours scored 8/20 levels on a reading placement test that tested through age seven. She's got a natural proclivity toward geography, history, English, math, science, religion, languages...wait. I'm in trouble.

From the kitchen...

Trying to go paleo. Failing miserably. I like grain. I also frequently get sick after eating. Something's gotta give!

I am creating...

Boxes of packed items. I know we're not moving for months more, but I hate moving and I want to pack what we're not using. I just purged our biggest junk areas and hope to do one more round before the boxes are packed up. How do we have so much stuff we never, ever use?

I am working on...

Peace in all things. I'm such an anxious sort that any kind of change stresses me out and my weak little mind jumps to worst-case scenarios. 

A routine! Why can't I figure out a balance between school, cooking, loving on my two (three!) girls, and cleaning???? WHY?

Graduation! Announcements, presents, housing for out-of-town guests, job search, etc.! Who knew that I was supposed to have this all planned out months before it happens?

Lent. It's almost over and I feel like it hasn't been as fruitful as it could have been.

Clicking Around...

Pope coverage.

I am reading...

A Light To My Path by Lynn Austen. I read The Chronicles of the Kings by the same author and I LOVED it. This series is okay, but definitely not as good as Chronicles. 

I am praying for...

Our new papa - for his strength of faith, for his orthodoxy, the courage to clean house.

A job. A job, dear Lord, a job. Please. 

I am hearing...

LOST in the background, Joseph playing a game on his computer, quiet from the girls' room. Peace, joy, love.

Around the house...

Piles of purged items. Donate! Save! Throw away! Why do we have all this stuff? I hope the piles get removed from my house tomorrow.

A new herb garden! Mint, cilantro, chives, swiss chard, aloe vera. I can't wait for this little collection to grow. I love growing and nurturing things. Kind of sounds like I'm a Catholic mama, huh?

One of my favorite things...

Cauliflower pizza crust. Google it. Love it. Eat it oft.

Our trash can. I'm in a purging mood. 

LOST. Always with Lost. The show by which we judge all other shows.

Chronicles of the Kings, Mark of the Lion - I couldn't think of anything else, so I put my favorite books up.

A few plans for the rest of the week...

Tomorrow - purge! clean! Easter is coming! Graduation nears! A move looms! If I'm going 
to feel anxiety, I'm going to do something about it, at least.

Friday - a consignment sale to buy our growing girls wardrobes since they have approximately no spring/summer clothes; then a day off. Joseph and I both agreed to give each other one full day off during Spring Break. I plan on reading and sleeping intermittently. 

A picture thought...

I don't know much about the new Vicar of Christ, our Supreme Pontiff, our visible Head of the Church, but I do know this quote does much to calm my anxiety in regard to any misgivings. It was said to St. Francis of Assisi (who some say Our Holy Father chose his name from) by Our Lord. May he truly repair. And clean house. :-D

Daybook for 01-16-13

Outside my window...

It's COLD. Really cold. I aspire to go outside more with the kiddos so we can all get a good dose of vitamin D but then I think about how cold and painful it would be and I hole up a little bit longer! 

I am thankful for...

My sweet husband. For some reason, the transition from Christmas break to going back to work and school has been a bit hard for me. I think coming off of having him around, sans work or assignments, spoiled me. I got a little bit down and just can't seem to catch up with all the chores and homeschooling that needs to be done. Nothing is far behind, it's just always there and never quite done. He sent me the sweetest card (through the mail!) that thanked me for all the hard work I do for our family. That man.

I am thinking about...

Dinner. I'm trying a new recipe! Homeschooling: we need to do it today.

In the Schoolroom...

Just trying to get on a schedule.

From the kitchen...

Making a smothered honey mustard chicken tonight. We have a bag of potatoes that need using, so probably either baked potatoes or scalloped with a side of broccoli. 

I am creating...

Not a lot. Trying to establish peace in our routine, home, prayer life!

I am working on...

coming up with inside, active activities for the kiddos. I move the coffee table every day now so they can tumble and dance. Any other suggestions?

Clicking Around...

Only this sticks out in my memory:
http://catholicmom.com/2012/07/09/gods-plans-for-your-child-can-be-revealed-through-their-talents/

I am reading...

Just started A Tale of Two Cities to read as my "enrichment" novel. I've made a personal goal of reading or re-reading the classics throughout the year, not just fiction novels that are easy to ready, enjoyable, often enriching, but often not, too. :)

I am praying for...

A sweet friend on the anniversary of the loss of her mama; another friend about to give birth with some impending complications; another dear friend who's sick, with kids, and without husband; some special intentions. Most especially, for employment for my husband!

I am hearing...

Little giggles coming from the kitchen where a rousing round of Ring Around The Rosy is going on.

Around the house...

Not messy, not immaculate. Trying to slowly do one last (or second to last!) purge before we start slowly boxing things up to move in the coming year. Why am I even thinking of packing? I'm not yet, but I do want to get rid of things that we just never use and I don't want to pay to move.

One of my favorite things...

http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2011/01/chicken-tortilla-soup/

Seriously, I could eat that soup every single day and be happy. I garnish with tons of cilantro, lime juice, and tortilla strips. So, so good.

A few plans for the rest of the week...

I can't even think past naptime right now!

A picture thought...

My sweet, wacky girl. This is what she says her prayer face looks like. This picture is so precious to me because it sums up who this little girl is at three years: messy haired, food-on-shirt, girly-but-also-tomboyish, sweet, precious little Elisabeth. 

late in coming - Elisabeth is three!

I remembered my blog today and went to visit it. I found this beautiful reminder of who Ellie is at this age that I meant to post on her birthday. I want to make sure that I remember each little treasure that makes up our girls and this seems the most convenient for me (although I obviously forget about it all the time!). 



My sweet, Elisabeth Grace. Spending the last three years getting to know you has been one of the greatest joys of our lives. We can't imagine what life would be like without your sweet smile, your pirate face, your hair pets, and your little chubby arms around us in hugs.

You've grown from a spunky little infant, into a curious, mischievous toddler, into a bright, loving, still spunky pre-schooler. I can't believe it. You're a pre-schooler!

You're a joy to be around. From the moment you wake up in the mornings, you're just ready to go, go, go. You sometimes wake up whiney but as soon as you get food in your tummy, you're in a great mood. You love your food and want to snack all day long! You love sweets, fruit, crackers...anything! Except Asian food (which you call Agent food). We've tried to sneak it past you, but you just don't like it.

You are a collector. You squirrel away things just in case you need them at some point again. You have a backpack, a sparkly pink purse, a Spec's brown bag, a Mike's Hard Lemonade box, and probably other little hiding places that we don't know about. Your treasures are just that - little things that only you would treasure! You have stamps, little books, leaves, crayons, special Little People, special little stuffed animals, binoculars, little drawings. We love it (as frustrating as it gets, sometimes!). And you know when something is missing which tells us you really do love these little treasures! For Christmas, though you don't know it, you're getting a wooden box with your name on it to keep all your special things in. It's probably a little more apropos than a Spec's bag. ;)

Your favorite stuffed friends are: Jag (a black kitty named after Nonnie's black kitten) and Snoop-Bear. You have funny little voices for each. Jag speaks with a meow in each word ("yes, mewom" instead of "yes, ma'am); Snoop speaks with a lisp. You have a few little critters that are named Tyrone after the Backyardigan, but those come and go in regard to treasuring them. You also have the Babies Dolphin - two little bath toy dolphins - one blue, one purple - that your are pretty attached to. We have back-up after back-up because they're tiny and lost easily! You also have a bunny blanket that you can't sleep without!

The funniest treasure you have is a little book. You call it your special book. It's a Little Office Of The Blessed Virgin. You sleep with it, even, and cry when you can't find your book.

You love to play pirates, cowgirl, mystery-solving, Calico Critters, and family. When you play Calico Critters, you always play the baby boy. When you play family, you always play Mommy or Aunt Jessica.

You're very territorial and competitive, but you have a heart of gold. If someone looks sad because she doesn't have a toy or someone is losing a game, you always make sure that person is taken care of. You always walk holding Mommy's hand because you don't want me by myself.

You like to poke your bellybutton and laugh uproariously because Molly and Mommy find it disgusting. You're such a tomboy! You fear nothing. You walk on small ledges, jump from high places, and run without concern. Molly is always reminding you something is dangerous. At the same time, you have a love of delicate things. You love pretty books (which is why we think you like your Special Book), pretty flowers, pretty jewelry, pretty dresses. You ask me if your hair looks pretty a few times a day, twirl in skirts, and love the color pink.

You love sleeping in a tent and you're very anal about it being shut very tightly. Your tent is actually a sheet draped over the side of your bunk bed, though, so it makes it really hard to please you!

Your favorite shows are Backyardigans, The Busy World of Richard Scary, Dora, and Diego. Your favorite song is "Roll Away Your Stone" by Mumford and Sons. Your favorite color is pink. Your favorite book is a Backyardigans Jingle Bells book. You like to say "I told you" which actually sounds like, "I toldja!" You sleep very well though the night, have been potty trained for a very long time, and weaned yourself of your sippy at bed time.

You learn by touching. You have about this big world of ours by doing. Throwing, jumping, touching, running...it's how you learn best; it's so very different than your big sister and honestly, a little hard to grow accustomed to! I'm not used to a little girl running into the room I'm in, throwing a ball and saying, "Didja see dat, Mama!? Dat was COOL! Look how far it went!" We're both learning, little love.

You love to cuddle. We cherish how you lie with one of us and put your chubby arms around our neck and pet our face. You have a sweet little girl smile when you do this and you ask, "does this feel lovely?"

You love your godparents fiercely and get a little territorial about them around your sister and cousin. You love your sister and your Mommy and Daddy more than I think I even know.

You are the joy of my life. You make me laugh so many times everyday. When Daddy and I are in bed and talking about our day, we always end up in stitches over a funny thing you said or did. You're hard to discipline because of how much you make us laugh.

It is so fun to watch you grow up. I've seen you fight through your probably miscarriage and your heart defect and you've never lost that spunk. You're strong and smart (as you like to say!), funny and charismatic, kind and loyal and loving, full of imagination and spunk.

We love you, little girl. May you grow to be as holy as your namesakes.

Happy third birthday, Ellie!

Here is a re-posting of our Elisabeth Grace's birth story, written two years ago. I thought it'd be a great chronicle if we posted this again and then posted an update of what she's like as she turns three. Here's the first of the two posts!

We love you, sweet Elisabeth. May St. Elizabeth and our dearest Mother of Divine Grace watch over, protect, and guide you as closely through the rest of your life as they have these first three (plus nine months!) years. 

***

It seems, sweet little girl, that your entire existence has been a marriage of opposites - the threading of fear and joy, quiet with spunky, and on the extreme end, life and death. It seems as though the entire time, my pregnancy with you was trying to find a happy balance on which to teeter without crashing down onto one side.

Do you know why your patronesses are St. Elizabeth, cousin of Mary and Our Blessed Mother of Divine Grace? Because, sweet girl, you were a blessing. By all counts, we shouldn't have conceived you. Not according to the world which seems to think that any less than two years apart is a little crazy. Three is probably preferable. And if we got down to the nitty-gritty, we probably shouldn't have conceived you from a medical standpoint. But they hadn't told us that, yet, and so there here you are. Thanks be to God. Just as St. Elizabeth was blessed after countless barren years, so were we blessed when we "shouldn't" have been. And just as St. Elizabeth feared losing her baby (because of her older age), so I feared losing you. Which is where Our Blessed Mother of Divine Grace comes in. How freely she hands out graces and blessings. And oh, how we prayed for her to abundantly bless us with your LIFE, not a loss.

And so, sweet girl, you were named Elisabeth Grace.

Elisabeth means, "God's promise" and Grace, "God's blessing." What your life has meant to us since I first found out about you standing in a bathroom stall in Target is that God WILL, indeed, take care of us. Our Lord will not give us more than we can handle and our trust in Him means only one thing: He will bless us.

I knew about you before I officially "knew" about you, little girl. Each month after your sister's birth, I was terrified of having a baby. But there was something about this time. I was a little scared, but what a feeling of peace I had with the thought of bringing a new life into this world! So began the teetering of opposites. We were still paying off Molly's hospital bills, I was still healing from a difficult birth, but the peace and the joy knowing that God was knitting a new life inside of took over.

And you fought your way into existence, baby. At our first doctor's appointment, we were told about a hemorrhage in my uterus that increased the chances of miscarriage by 90%. Ninety percent. There was a ninety percent chance that I would never see your face or hold your sweet little hands or kiss your soft little cheeks. I was put on strict bedrest and went to stay with Nonnie and Potts so they could help me take care of your big sister who was only 10 months old. Another balance. Fear and joy. Life and death. Your quiet existence was already battling the greatest battle it has ever fought.

And oh, you had prayers and prayers behind you. While you were growing inside of me, we attended Mass at a convent. The Carmelite Sisters that live there are cloistered. Their entire vocation is to pray. Did you know that they were praying for you the whole time? And our parish family? Praying. Our friends? Praying. Our families? Praying. Our families' parishes? Praying.  We were given a relic of St. Maravilla and a special prayer called an Angus Dei by the Sisters. I carried those around with me for nine months.

I stayed on bedrest until the end of the first trimester when the risk of miscarriage dropped dramatically. You had a very normal second trimester. Initially I had opted to wait until your birth to find out if you were a boy or a girl but the thought that you might not make it that far pushed me into finding out early. And I'm so glad we did. I got to know you  so well and spent my free time imagining about your life and what it would be like. What you and your sister would be like together.

I was put on bedrest again in the third trimester because of preterm labor scares. My uterus just wasn't strong enough to hold you in. And let me assure you, sweet girl, you were once again the subject of many-a-prayer storming Heaven for a few weeks. I successfully carried you until 39 weeks.

We were faced with a big decision during that second bedrest. How we would deliver you. My doctor, Steven Pilkington, is a very kind, loving man. He was one of the few Catholic, pro-life ob/gyns in the area. And so we trusted him implicitly. Because your mama had never fully healed from the uterine inversion and severe tearing from Molly's birth, this birth would be tricky. The chances of a repeat inversion and even more severe tearing was incredibly high. After months of prayer and check-ups and discernment, our dear doctor left the decision up to us letting us know that if I were his wife, he would probably want her to have a c-section. And after many tears and prayers, a c-section was decided.

It's scary, picking the day you will welcome your child into the world, like closing your eyes and jabbing your finger into a calendar and saying, "That day. That's the day. I don't THINK we have anything going on." It wasn't like that, really, but I felt wordly, shallow and small. There's that balance again. There's that trust again. I felt like I had to pick between a dangerous birth and a...dangerous birth. So I chose the lesser of two dangerous births.

We prepared the best would could. I cuddled with your sister every single day at every moment her wiggly little body would let me. I spent all my non-child time with your daddy. We went on a giant family date the day before you were born. We went shopping, got ice cream and marveled in each other's presence. We had our dear priest over for dinner and sacraments (since I was on bedrest) and a blessing. We had his prayers. And his phone number in case of emergency. This was all extreme, of course. The chances of death during a c-section are just about zero-nihl, but after the near-death experience during your sister's birth, I was scared and so was your daddy.

I've heard women share that giving birth was a moment of pure and raw empowerment. The feeling of, "I can do this!" and knowing that a woman's body is designed for the sole purpose of bearing and giving birth to a new little life. I've never felt that. I've felt small and humbled, helpless and, to be honest, alone.

I know it's not true. Your daddy is right next to me the whole time, holding my hand, praying with and loving me. But there were a few moments before Dr. Pilkington began surgery where I was wheeled away from your daddy and sat in a room full of strangers. I was given the epidural and the blue cloth was put up. Dr Pilkington chose a cd full of soft praise and worship music. Not my cup of tea, but I liked the sentiment. I felt tugs and pulls and my legs quickly became dead-weights. For the record, not a fan of that feeling!

When they brought your daddy in, I could already see the tears in his eyes. He gave me such a smile. The kind of smile that helped me fall in love with him. The doctor said that we would meet you in about five minutes. I, in passing, mentioned to Joseph I couldn't believe how quick the surgery would be - only five minutes. And your daddy said, "Um, the doctor is elbow deep in you!" I never felt anything beyond tugs and pulls. It gave us a good chuckle.

I spent the few weeks leading up to your birth praying my water would break so I would get to experience some semblance of a "real life" birth experience. Because of how...unnatural (that's not the right word) the c-section experience felt, I never really connected with it. It never felt real. Until I heard your cry. When I saw your long little body stretch out and announce to the world that you were here to stay. Despite the complications. Despite the odds. Despite what the world said we should do. You were here and that's all that mattered.

Of course I couldn't hold you, but I pressed my face against your little bundled one. I'll never forget that moment, sweet girl. Seeing your daddy holding you, seeing what a beautiful life God has knitted, using me as His needles. That, my precious girl, is when that pendulum stopped swinging. God has chosen for us: Life. Joy. Trust. Any fears or doubts were chased away when I held you for the first time, about 45 minutes after you were born.

If I compare your birth to your sister's, I feel that the story isn't quite as "in your face" or as dramatic. I joke with your daddy that the doctor cut me open, pulled you out and sewed me back up. In and out in fifteen. But that's not true. Your birth was how your pregnancy was is how you are today: quiet and but full of, well, life.

And that, sweet girl, is how you live, too.

You have spunk and I joke about what a little trouble-maker you are. You have a penchant for discovering new things all the time. Just what does toilet paper do as I unroll it, Mommy? Mama, if I put this in my mouth, will it taste good? Sister, how fast do you think I can pull all these books off the bookshelf?

But that spunk is beautiful. We found out only two days after you were born that you had a heart murmur. It turns out it wasn't anything to worry about, but once again, the see-saw of joy and fear, life and death came back into our lives. You had problems eating enough when you were first born because you were too tired to stay awake that long. It was a scary first month, little girl, but you fought through it. And now you're a rolly-poly one-year old.

You've learned to dance and groove to music before you've ever even learned to walk. Oh and did I forget to mention that you've learned to jump on a bed even though you're not walking yet?

You're cuddly and sweet and only sleep well if I'm next to you. You love babies and stuffed animals and anything with a face. Poor little Zachary has to be lain out of your reach so you can't smother him with kisses all day long. And oh, how you love your big sister. One of my new favorite times of the day is when I put her down in her bed for a nap, close the door and let you crawl back in. I let you play with each other for about 10 minutes. You both laugh and cuddle and talk to each other like the best of friends. I have to say that watching you love on each other warms this mama's heart.

And you're smart, just like your big sister. You love to read - you'll sit for up to half an hour just flipping through a book all by yourself. You've begun talking up a storm. Just today as I played music to watch you shake your little bottom and move your legs up and down, you looked at me in wonder and said, "musak."

Yes, baby, musak. And I pray that you always find the music in life as you travel on your path to Heaven. I pray that you use your sweetness to enrich the lives of other and help lead them to Christ. That you continue live out your name as God's promised blessing to each and every person you encounter. I pray that you live out your life as extraordinarily as you entered into it.

We love you!

daybook for sept. 13

Outside my window...

Chilly! Rainy and chilly, the perfect autumn weather. The three girls are cuddled on the couch watching a cartoon while I take a moment to drink some coffee and update this. I have four sleeping and one quietly playing children in the house while I take the time to write this. I love this time of year.

I am thankful for...

My dad coming to pick the girls and me up to visit my grandparents for a week; for a husband who understands me in every season of my emotions; for a gift that meant far more than the giver could have imagined.

I am thinking about...

Today, mostly packing and planning for our school week while we're away. I'm not the world's greatest lesson planner (as in, it doesn't get planned before the morning of. Hurrah for kinder!), but I want to make sure I bring all the worksheets we'll need for El Paso. 

Jobs. It feels weird to know that school is done in just a few short months and our minds are focused on that. Joseph is going to DFW this weekend to meet with some Catholic lawyers we met through our parish back in irving. Please pray this leads to a tangible job offer! God's Will be done. We have a few ideas of where we'd LIKE to go, but we want to make sure our wills are conformed to Our Lord's. 

This sermon. I want to make sure our home is peaceful, loving, and most of all holy. Which means we bar so many things of this world at the door. We've been given the gift of our girls and we need to maintain their innocence and purity at any cost. And maintain our own purity! It means we can't watch a lot of shows others watch, it means I probably need to learn to sew (and sew well, since I don't want to look like the stereotypical homeschooling family...we're modest, not frumpy!), etc. I'm praying God gives us the grace to keep holy. Holy families don't just happen, they are strived for. Ora pro nobis, all of Heaven!

In the Schoolroom...

Making sure I have a clear idea of what state standards are for pre-K 4. From what I've read, Molly is placing into Kinder, but I'm not really sure. I've also studied Charlotte Mason's standards for what a six-year old should know and Molly's not there yet. But it is comforting to have an idea of where we should be heading.

I also just bought two different volumes on great artists. We don't have the supplemental workbooks, but I'm pretty excited to have a place to start.

From the kitchen...

Blah. 

I am creating...

A more workable home. This whole school thing is throwing me off and we're reworking the space we have. 

The girls finally have bunk bed. Not what I wanted, for the record, but it's what we're doing for now. I'm still getting my vintage beds, but just in a few years. We'll be putting the bunk beds in a guest room/office space in the future...assuming we have that space in the future! We still need mattresses but for now, the girls have more space in their room for play and exploring. I hope to create something school-y with that space, but I'm not sure how pragmatic that is with the two two-year olds needing to play during school time. 

We also got a printer so we can just copy worksheets from master copies. We made space for that and we LOVE it. 

Now I need to make a space for our schoolbooks and paper. So far, they're sitting in a box that Theresa's diapers came in. I need them away from little hands and easily accessible to me. 

I am working on...

Still working on that whole patience and selflessness thing. I've listened to this sermon three times since I first heard it. What struck me most by what Fr. Mozzie was saying is that no matter what gets done, it's the process of sacrificing myself for our family that the children get to see every moment of everyday that matters. It's God's Will for me here and now, which means it's my path to holiness and heaven. 

I don't always deal with my situation patiently or selflessly, in fact I fail more than I overcome myself, but I remind myself (or rather, I listen to that sermon!) of what I'm doing here. Life is about achieving holiness and Heaven. Nothing more, nothing less. As long as I do that for myself, for Joseph, and for our girls, that's enough. Of course, any other souls along the way is good, too. :) But for now, I'm focusing small. 

Clicking Around...

http://www.confessionsofahomeschooler.com/. 

I love this site and I'm so glad I stumbled upon it.

I am reading...

Humility of Heart. I love, love, love that book. It's no surprise that Fr. Mozzie gave it to us to read.

I just re-read The Mark of the Lion series. My favorite books ever.

I am praying for...

Peace in regard to jobs and where we are called to. 

I am hearing...

Little feet running around the house. Gregorian chant lulling littles to sleep.

Around the house...

Reworkng space.

One of my favorite things...

Today: books, rainy days, cups of steaming tea, new White Collar episodes, cuddly babies.

I've been sleeping in mine and Joseph's bed with the girls while their room transforms into a bunk-bedded room, and I love, love, love waking up to Ellie planting a kiss on my cheek or patting my arm just to make sure I'm still there. I think we got a little used to sharing a bed or a room while at my parents' house and I kind of miss it. I know they do, too! 

A few plans for the rest of the week...

Visiting my grandparents in El Paso!

A picture thought...

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