Thursday, November 7, 2013

on heavenly thievery

I've been trying to follow alongside my sister-in-law's Month of Gratitude and clearly I've been doing a fantastic job, as I'm doing my first post on the seventh of November.

Today's prompt is to name a song that makes me grateful whenever I hear it. I'm supposed to dance around to it, but little E did that for me. Upon walking into my room while I was playing it, she said, "Well this is sweet," donned her ballerina face (she has one), and plied (past tense of plie? What is it!? I can't find it) to her heart's content.

In lieu of uncoordinated bodily movements, known as dancing to me, or seizing to the rest of the world, I'll just play it over and over until my ears bleed, such as is the way with me.


Take a listen or two hundred alongside me.


This was the song that Mr. B and I danced to as newlyweds at our wedding reception. It's based off of the Song of Songs (Song of Solomon for those who don't use Douay-Rheims) written by Solomon.

Song of Songs 8:6: Put me as a seal upon thy heart, as a seal upon thy arm, for love is strong as death, jealousy as hard as hell, the lamps thereof are fire and flames. 


Newlyweds experiencing the flame of love or heat of Houston in June. I've heard it both ways. 

The entire book of Song of Songs parallels the courtship, wedding, and marriage of a young man and woman. Unless you're trying to not understand what Solomon was doing, it's easy to see that the parallels extend to God and His people (updated circa 33AD to Christ and His Church).

I forget about this song a lot, to be honest. I get too caught up in the sounds of children, and homemaking, and silence - blessed, blessed silence - and forget my youngin' years of loving music. But when I remember this song, watch out YouTube, your video view count is about to hit the thousands.

During particularly difficult times, this song immediately calms me. It reminds me of two things: 

Uno. I have the love of a Godly man. I have a husband who gets up with kids at night so I can rest and find health again. He then gets up before dawn to go to a job that he loves, but doesn't pay him and probably doesn't appreciate him, just so that he can find a job that will support us. I have a husband who, without fail, dies to himself daily to make us more comfortable. I have a husband who prays a multiple Rosaries daily, offering the merits for everyone but himself. He isn't recognized for most of what he does, because he does it quietly and behind closed doors, like he's supposed to; there are sacrifices he makes that I'm sure I don't even know about. He staunchly and charitably defends our precious Faith to those who don't believe, while living a life that brings those who do believe closer to Our Lord. I have a husband who, even in the heat of an argument or panic attack, makes me laugh. He composes songs and stories that no one ever hears, but he doesn't waste the talent give him from above. He plays with our girls, reads with them, cuddles with them, and loves their mother. He prays, he loves, he plays, he stands strong and faithful, and I'm grateful that he chose me.

My humble, loving husband, circa 1992. He's sans the hair curl now. And for that I am also grateful.

And to top it off, we have sacramental marriage, though which Our Lord literally pours graces into our souls if we just let Him. 


Dos. Solomon may be hailed as the wisest king ever to have lived, but homeboy got something wrong - we haven't stolen Our Bridegroom's Heart. He's freely given it to us and so desperately wants to shower gifts and blessings and love upon us. 

There are times that my faith is weak. Not Faith - that's firmly rooted - but my heart loses it's focus on that God loves me more than I can understand and will provide. Just as I don't hand sweets to my girls whenever they ask - because even I'm not that dense - He can't hand me all I ask for, right away, at least. The bride in the Song lost her bridegroom for a while, and just kept searching through the night until she found Him. Our Lord knows we won't always stay right by His side, though He wants us to, but He does want us to persevere in finding Him. 

There are three parts to spiritual life - consolation, desolation, and perfect unity. During consolation, we feel the good feelings of being a Christian. The warm fuzz helps us seek out Truth and delve deeper into the Faith. But eventually, our most wise God desires us to want Him and not His consolations, so He puts us through times of desolation. This is when I need to remember to continue to search Him out. He's there, somewhere, waiting for me in the darkness and just wants to know I choose Him and not the blessings He heaps upon me. 

Let's skip the snarky caption here, eh?

This song reminds me to keep my lantern lit in search of Him during those dark nights of the soul when my mind knows Our Lord is somewhere, just out of reach, but my heart doesn't feel it. 

So, on this dreary, rainy seventh day of November, I'm grateful for that reminder. And you're probably thankful that this novel is ending. And it is. Now. The end.

3 comments:

  1. Beautifully written! I love your distinction between your faith and Faith.

    Also, you don't ever need to apologize for writing too much - we love reading every word!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ugh! I love that song! And the memories it holds for you. Your reception was the first time I'd ever heard it, and I fell in love with it!

    You did get a good one. I'm not surprised that he turned in to such an awesome man, though. He had some pretty awesome sisters teaching him what guys should and should not do... mostly because I'm pretty sure he had to be listening through the door when I cried over loser boyfriends, or gushed over good ones... ;) JK. He was just born awesome...

    ReplyDelete
  3. P.S. This:
    "This song reminds me to keep my lantern lit in search of Him during those dark nights of the soul when my mind knows Our Lord is somewhere, just out of reach, but my heart doesn't feel it." is a beautiful line!

    We all need one of those songs! Mine is by Snoop Dogg. Just kidding.

    ReplyDelete